Who is this Ang person?

Formal stuff first

My name is Ang (Rhymes with “flange”) Jandak. I live in New Hampshire, which, contrary to popular American opinion, is NOT in Canada.

My work with Lowbrow Events has won me an award from some of the most amazing business coaches in the internets, “Best Original Product”, for turning the idea of wedding planning on it’s head and spanking it a few times for good measure.

Random gibberish

I was what is referred to in polite circles as a “Willful child”. I was stubborn, questioned everything, and surprisingly while this is frowned upon in children, this is precisely what makes you successful as an adult. (Kids take note!) My parents purchased a child psychology book to fix this problem and I promptly flushed it down the toilet. I was six. When I was eight I announced that when I grew up I wanted to be a MILF. (I still do)

I live with my fantasmical husband (affectionately known as “Panda”), who is basically the opposite of me in every way, shape and form. Tall/short (That pic over there is me in 4″ heels), blonde/brunette, bad boy/geek, analytical/creative, homebody/thrill seeker, musician/tone deaf, vegetables/fried dough, you get the idea. I adore him with every fiber of my being, and every once in awhile he admits to being rather fond of me.

I’m a dog person, we have three, they’re all rather large, hairy, drooly and have their own theme song. I like bread; as in used to want to go to prison when I was little so I could eat bread every day. Before I die I want a pet otter named “Flibberty Gibbet”, and to compete in an Oxen pull with Scottish Highland steers I shall christen as “Fluffy” and “Grumpy Butt”.

To have an idea of my hopes and dreams, I heard a story (And take NO responsibility for if it’s true or not, it’s an awesome story regardless), where one of the guys from ZZ Top went to a Rolls Royce dealership to buy a car. And the sales guys all treated him like crap, because, well honestly, if they weren’t ZZ Top awesomeness, the guys from ZZ Top look like devious vagabonds. So ZZ Top guy is super hella cool, and not about to be all “Don’t you KNOW WHO I AM!?!?!?!” so he went across the street to Bentley, where he paid a zillion dollars cash for a Bentley which he then drove through the window of the Rolls dealership. While he meandered past the shocked and appalled Rolls staff, he stopped at the front desk threw down two zillion dollars cash to cover expenses (And to rub it in their faces), and said “I hate when people judge someone’s worth on their appearance. People are so much more than that.” Then he went back across the street and bought another Bentley. Because he can. That’s what I want to be when I grow up.